bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize