if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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