"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize