PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You made out with two different species that night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
