Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
