Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It's Friday. Sex?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
