yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
