i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
