listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
