You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
