Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
