i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
