Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
