I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
