we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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