It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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