Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
