Don't you send me to vm
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
