I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
