beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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