dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
