ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I made him laugh his dick is mine
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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