babies were throwing up all over the place
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
