I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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