we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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