I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
