i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
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i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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