i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
