This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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