I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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