Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
NoShamevember. You game?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
