I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
