i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
