I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
