Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
