There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I FOUND THE LEGS
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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