He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
