well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize