i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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