It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
