Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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