How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
