his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
