You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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