So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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