Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
