Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
