That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
