my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
