And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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