hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
