office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
