I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
