Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
