My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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