Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
