How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
