thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my shit smells like andre
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
