He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
